yesings:

what if i died in like twenty years and all i left my girlfriend was a box and like she gasps and reaches down to her chest where her key necklace hangs that i gave her twenty two years ago, and she uses it to unlock the box and all that is in there is a string which you can pull to reveal an embarrassing photo of spongebob at the christmas party


  • 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
  • me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance

Friendly reminder that anyone born between 1985-1998 didn’t get their hogwarts letter because Voldemort’s ministry wiped out the record of muggleborns

  • me: i have no classes with anybody i know
  • my parents: that's how you make friends!!!
  • me: no

Real Hacker vs Movie Hacker
  • real hacker: So you say you're gonna break into our local nuclear power plant? I really don't think that's possible
  • movie hacker: *types a few keystrokes* I'm in
  • real hacker: But the power plant's computers aren't even connected to the internet
  • movie hacker: I said I'm in. Now I'll cause a meltdown *types a few keystrokes* Done
  • real hacker: What do you mean done? There have to be many redundant safeguards in place to stop a meltdown. In any case, a meltdown would take time.
  • movie hacker: Want me to break into the CIA next?
  • real hacker: I don't even think you should attempt to...
  • movie hacker: *types a few keystrokes* Too late. I'm in


notjustanotherpetblog:

nevertoomanyspiders:

bogmoth:

ohnoproblems:

beepunk:

look @ this cute lil lady

i live for small lady

love u small lady

I don’t care if it’s already on my blog, stuff like this is always relevant

little bee tongue and antennae and fuzzy legs and cutie eyes!


thequeerclone:

the fact that there have no leaked nudes in my dashboard proves that i’m following the right people


reattachment:

If we’re texting and I’m actually responding quickly and you’re not then it’s 99.9% guaranteed I won’t reply back for weeks


pinkmanjesse:

MAMA MIA THAT’S A SPICY MEATBALL

pinkmanjesse:

MAMA MIA THAT’S A SPICY MEATBALL


qorter:

So I found Doug Dimmadome at Dragon Con

qorter:

So I found Doug Dimmadome at Dragon Con


burgerwizard:

Theorem: Puppys are cool

Proof

image


nosdrinker:

human:

reblog if you never actually bought these you just found and kept them


I had so many of these stolen everyone who reblogged this is getting blocked

nosdrinker:

human:

reblog if you never actually bought these you just found and kept them

I had so many of these stolen everyone who reblogged this is getting blocked


aquarian-sunchild:

sixpenceee:

did you know you can use an orange peel as a mini flamethrower?
TRY IT !

"Miss, do you really expect me to believe that you accidentally burned your house down with an orange peel?”
"Uh, it looked cool on the internet?"

aquarian-sunchild:

sixpenceee:

did you know you can use an orange peel as a mini flamethrower?

TRY IT !

"Miss, do you really expect me to believe that you accidentally burned your house down with an orange peel?”

"Uh, it looked cool on the internet?"


cotilardmarion:

SpongeBob SquarePants & American Horror Story:Coven Parallels